Tunisia

We arrive at East Midlands airport 3 hrs early and find a big queue already formed. No problem though, as we have pre-booked extra leg room but I get a bit oh err! when I see our seat number is 13 E and F. Number 13 "Gulp"
No problems on the flight and as we land in early evening the pilot tells us it is 30?C.
We collect our luggage and find the airport is sheer chaos. our rep is nowhere to be seen and there are people going in all directions looking for their coach among the hoard of coaches parked outside while fending off the locals who want to carry your cases for you. for a nice tip of course. Finally Brian finds someone to help us locate our coach and after politely refusing help with our cases we find our coach and grab a seat. A two hour journey takes us to our hotel Aziza Beach with a 4* rating all inclusive. It looks really impressive until we step inside. The smoke curls round every corner waiting to attack its next victim, within seconds I can't breathe and struggle to battle the smoke. Quickly we get sorted and dive into the lift and find our room. It is meant to be non smoking but I see ashtrays but at least the room smells fresh with no hint of smoke. It is quite late so we half unpack and go to bed. But hang on, only one pillow and I need more. Brian asks for 4 extra pillows for me which is just as well as they are so thin. All of the pillows feel like they are stuffed with stones so I'm pleased to find one is a little softer.

MONDAY 3rd
7.30am I wake up, jump out of bed and open the curtains to admire the sea view that Brian paid extra for. huh!! Okay we have a small balcony then the view of a roof and oh yeah I can see a small section of the sea. Now if I lob over the balcony and walk to the edge of the roof I can then take in the view of the sea.. Brian isn't impressed at all and says the view over the pool would have been better.
I had down to reception to get to the restaurant for breakfast and dread the thought of battling the creeping killer smoke. Surprisingly though the reception area is pretty clear of smoke which is a huge relief. Breakfast is buffet style and soooooo good. loads of lovely food to choose from .. a gluttons paradise.
After eating we change and head down for the welcome meeting. We are late so the rep tells us she will fill us in on what we missed. We book three trips then head off to the pool where for the first day we sunbathed in temperatures of around 35?C while drinking cool drinks. All I need is a floaty thing to lie on in the pool so that I can enjoy the water.

I lie back on my sunbed and take a look around, a huge pool surrounded by palm trees and... Old folk. oh gawd,, where's Adonis? Not in Tunisia..lol Instead its wrinkles all round and huge beer bellies hanging over skimpy briefs. I laugh to myself as I see the men try hopelessly to suck in their stomachs as they saunter around the pool. The majority of people are French and German with the odd English body here and there. Brian and I sit back, don our sunglasses, smooth on the sun cream and as I sit back my first thoughts go to Kyle and Spike. I wonder how they are as I then reach for my mobile phone and send a text to the YO asking how they are. Only when I receive a reply saying "Fine" do I relax. I then decide to take a dip in the pool, so up I get and stand on the edge of the pool letting the water splash over my feet. I look at the water and think.."After 3 I'll dive in" I, 2, 3.. And I'm still standing there, I look at the water again, yep it's still there. I then decided to sit down and dangle my legs in the water thinking I could just lower myself in. So I sit, and I sit and I sit and then .. I stand up again and look at the water. Gosh this is hard work, eventually about having a 20mi8n debate with myself I finally go for it and dive. I surface, turn around, swim to the side and. get out.. Phew! Time to sunbathe again.

TUESDAY 4th and WEDNESDAY 5th
These two days were spent lazing by the pool again. Brian was either writing notes or poems while I sun bathed with a book or with my now floaty thing spent time sun bathing in the pool. By now we had experience the three restaurants.

The International. This one is used for Breakfast and if booked a table for a pre selected menu. It is all smoking and Brian and I find ourselves table hopping as we try to evade the smokers. They pop up everywhere like mole hills, and hard to get rid off.

The Grand. This restaurant is only open on an evening and beach wear is not allowed though the woman tend to get away with it. After a week we discovered the non-smoking area which helped so much. No table hopping here. Again it is buffet style and already I can see the lumps and bumps in all the wrong places growing bigger what with all the lovely food on offer.

The Tunisian, This restaurant is a separate building but still part of the hotel. You need to book a table and it's a pre selected menu. We decided to give it a try but it was terrible. We had to leave because out of 6 table's only one table besides ours was not smoking, well the people that is not the table. Three women came in and before their backsides even touched the seats they were drawing cigarettes like their life depended on it. I ended up coughing and wheezing and so Brian and I left but not without Brian having a few words to say. Luckily it was still early enough to eat in the usual restaurant where we did enjoy a smoke free meal.

On the wed evening we head off for the first of our booked tours. African Night. First stop was to a small zoo, we only had an hour and ended up not being able to get all the way around. I got to see croc's, giant tortoises, merecats and desert foxes.ahh how cute...and usual lions etc. what was a surprise was holding an ostrich egg, they are soooooo heavy.. I could have sat on an ostrich but I thought that was disrespectful to the animal and so declined. I settled to stroking it instead.
After the zoo we headed into a building were we sat and had a meal while people from North and South Africa put on a dance show displaying various tribal dances.
The rest of the week was spent lazing by the pool apart form one day when we decided to try out the "Old Medina" shopping centre. That scared the willies off me, or would have done if I had some. The shopkeepers jump up and get right in your face and really try hard to get you to buy something from their shop. We just headed right back out into the taxi and went back to the safety of our hotel. This had me thinking about horses, how they must feel when people get in their space and suffocate them, scary stuff. Makes ya think..
Oh I near on forgot, have you ever been chased out of a toilet by a cockroach, I did and boy can they run. I tell ya what, asthma or not I legged it out of there and was so pleases I saw it before I went if you know what I mean, otherwise I'd have been running amok with my bikini bottoms wrapped around my ankles. Ugh! Scary things.. cockroaches that is.

SUNDAY 9th
After the disaster at the "Old Medina" we decided to go to the new shopping complex in Yasmine. This is packed with shops, horses and carriages go up and down and police .. They are everywhere which we found out was because important people like the president live around there. Yasmine has a Medina shopping centre and we went in to see a young camel and a Kestrel. I stroked both and got to hold the kestrel on my arm. I was surprised to find that rather than have its claws dig into my skin instead I could barely feel it. It was so tame . can I take it home? We stayed out shopping till the shops closed at midnight ..yep midnight and then headed back to bed.
Did I spend much.. nope barely a dinha.

MONDAY 10th
Tonight we have our second tour to "Light and Sound" we don't set off till 5pm so plenty of time to sun bathe first. We arrive at the complex to see camels that we can have photos taken with. One in particular that is lying down took a dislike to being pampered and growled at me. I jumped back, lost my balance and to others amusement fell over. I was like a stranded crab on its back with its legs flapping all over the place, I still went back and stroked it again.. lol
I had my pic taken with a cobra but I think its teeth had been taken out as it didn't bite. There was a reptile thing and the bloke was shoving it into the snake with his foot. I thought this was cruel. There were young lads on skinny horse sawing at their mouths to make them rear. It was hard for me to take this in as all I could see was the hard sad expressions in the horse's eyes. While people watched the show that they give all I wanted to do was drag the riders off the horses and set them free. Poor Brian must have been fed up of me complaining about how they treat the horses.
After that pathetic display we were herded into a building to eat a meal. The meal contained lamb so I ended up with a bowl of coucous and a tiny bit chicken.finally we were taken to an outdoor arena. Its dark outside and we were treated a a fantastic laser display followed by the story of Tunisia using light and sound. Absolutely brilliant. We finally got home at 1am.

TUESDAY 11th
Even though it was 2ambefore I got to sleep I was still up at 7.30am. Today its Brian's mam's birthday and I also realise an anniversary of the 9/11. After those 2 min thoughts I head off the pool and like a true German I claim two sun beds with my towels and head off for breakfast. I need my coffee Even the waiters know I like my coffee by now.At 11.30am I have a go at water yoga and its fun but tiring, I don't give it ago again though as I prefer to use energy reaching for my drink while sizzling on the sun bed. I can't help but look at my ever expanding waistband and tell myself..tomorrow I won't eat as much. when does tomorrow arrive.?

THURSDAY 13th
Today is the first day of our third tour. The two day Desert Safari.. We have a 5am coach to catch which didn't arrive till 5.30am and our first port is to Mahdia to see an arena like the one in the film "Gladiator" though on a smaller scale. I am glad I saw the film as it helped me to visualise what went on in these places. It made you shiver as you walked through the tunnels and imagined the men standing there petrified knowing they were going to their deaths.


ROMAN ARENA	A PIC OF ME

The next stop was to Matmata - home of the Berbers Tribesmen known also as Gordledites. These people choose to live in poverty in the mountains. They live in caves with doors leading to other rooms. The place is the setting for many scenes from "Star Wars" and it is in the middle on nowhere. Where do these people get their food from? As we step off the air conditioned coach the searing heat this me like stabbing needles. The air is dry and its not easy to breathe and this is the cooler time. The temperature here is around 40C and in peak season can get to highs of 58C if not higher. This is when the Berbers don't venture outside. Mind inside the rooms in the cave it is surprisingly cool.
These people sleep on a thin rug on an uneven concrete floor, the bath is a concrete block, the cupboards are just holes in the wall and the kitchen is a single table. No cooker or electric gadgets here. Amazing how they survive. They even had a little kitten which looked about 6 weeks old, it was really playful but so so skinny.

Next stop we arrive at our hotel. We have time to shower, change our clothes and eat before getting back onto the coach. This is the part of the tour is to a place called "Douz" for the Desert Safari ride on a camel. This is the reason I wanted to go on this tour. We are dressed up like Arabs and allocated a camel each. The camels are in pairs with one leading and the other following. I am on the one in front and Brian is on the one behind though there is nothing stopping them going side by side.
I named mine "Mr Grumpy" as like Kyle he hated other camels getting in front of him. If they did he'd stamp his feet, bang into them like a dodgem car or growl. Brian's camel I named "Mr Slouchy" as he was like a donkey. Walked as slow as possible with his nose sticking out and refused to walk any faster than needed. There was another camel that kept coming up along side and I called it "Cuddles" as I swear it enjoyed getting make a fuss of which I obliged and cuddled it every time. I want a camel... Some young lads led the camels on foot for a short time then I noticed the lad wrap the lead around my camel's neck and let it go on its own. Now here I was with a loose grumpy camel with no means of steering. I tried leg aids but nah.. these aren't Parelli camels lol. hey Pat there's a new one . PNH with a camel..


DRESSED AS ARABS	THIS IS GRUMPY	FANTASTIC

The ride was great and we set off into the desert just as the sun was setting. The camels knew where they were going and I was having a great time. When the camels walked down a sand dune it felt really weird like they were stepping down a flight of stairs. At the start of the ride I saw a bloke all dressed in black riding a beautiful black Arab horse all dressed up in tradition gear. It looked really impressive and made me think of the film "The Black Stallion" I must have been looking too long as the rider came up to me on his horse and asked if I wanted to ride it. We were warned about this though. Seemingly what they do is charge you for a ride on their horse but then you loose your ride on the camel and have to walk back. Now it would have been lovely to ride a black Arabian horse across the Sahara desert but nah. the camel ride won hands down. I got chatting.as I do occasionally.. and had a great laugh with the other tourists. What an experience.

FRIDAY 14th
Day two of the tour and again we have to be up early. Wash, dressed and fed and on the coach for 5am.. Bleary eyed and yawning finding eating breakfast at 4.30am hard to comprehend I settle into coach wondering what today will bring.
We travel to Kebili to see the Slat lake and the sun rise hence the early morning start. It is so dark that you can't really see the Salt Sea but walking on it, it feels like cracked concrete. We don't get to see the sun rise as it's too cloudy.. instead we carry on Tozeur where we are put into a 4x4. Everyone is expecting off road driving but its not, instead we set off on an l½ hr long drive to Chebika to see a ........mountain. Yes a mountain. Worse still I step out of the 4x4 only to get my legs whipped by sand. It's so windy and the sand stings like nettles. I seek refuge backing the car. Oh I think this is where scenes from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" were set. Next we head off to Tamerza to another mountain top. okay now I can either walk up a hill to look at a statue thing or go down a hill )and have to walk back up it) to see a stream. I do neither, instead Brian goes off to look at the stream and takes a few photo's so I can see what was there and in the meantime I wait at the top getting pestered to death by the mass of annoying flies. There are so many you'd think there were dead bodies around. I get so fed up I again take refuge in the car. Finally we head back to the coach for another long journey to the next stop. It's only 12pm and I feel like I have been on this coach for weeks not hours. We stop for lunch but because I don't eat lamb I end up with chips and couscous, I did get a tomato but I don't eat them either .. fussy sod aren't I.

Okay back on the coach again for another long journey. I am fed up, sore and uncomfortable and my legs and feet are swelling up. We are going on a horse and carraige and it is sad to see so many thin, unhappy horses with clenched jaws, grinding teeth, ears pinned back, expressionless faces and such sad eyes. Thankfully not allof the horses are liuke this and some are looked after well. This trip is to go and see some date trees, for me this was soooo boring so I won't go into it. On the coach again....yep again...and finally we reach Kairouan where we visit a carpet store. A woman back at the hotel said not to go in cause I'd end up buying a carpet. Well she was wrong; I never bought a carpet, instead Brian bought two lol. He paid £200 for two carpets to go in our bedroom, back at home Brian says they cost double that.
So that was the final stop and we finally reached our hotel at 6pm. I gathered my thoughts and realised I'd travelled today for 13 hrs for a carpet. Would I do it all again? For the camel ride in the Sahara Desert alone.. you betcha.
Mind while on the coach I was attacked by a huge and I mean a huge dragon fly. I was like a demented mad woman as I flapped and panicked shooing it away with my towel. God knows what the other people thought I was doing. Then just as I was settling a huge moth descends on me sending me into another frenzy like a tribal dance going terribly wrong. What is this? Dawn raid or something? I can laugh about it now but it sure scared me good and proper at the time.

SATURDAY 15th
I wake up today and think, one more day and we and go home. I am ready to go home and I am missing the boys so much. I have asked about them everyday but I need to be with them. I have had a great holiday, met some really nice people and put on at least half a stone. My wobbly bits wobble and my loose clothes fit snug now.

SUNDAY 16th
We have arranged to keep our room till 2pm so that we can sun bathe then go and shower and change ready for our departure. I am in high spirits and so excited at the thought of going home.
Tunisia is an eye opener, people sleep on the road side, in alleys and in the shops. Farmers herd their sheep and goats without dogs along dual carriageways. Houses relived in when only half built, seemingly they start building a house, move in and if they run out of money then the house remains as it is and building commences again when they do get the funds. Some people have their own grave yard in their garden. You don't see many dogs or cats and the place is covered in litter. You can travel for hours into nothing and still see litter everywhere.
People drive on the wrong side of the road like it's the normal thing to do. The small villages look like a scene from a war film after a place had been attacked. Bricks and mortar all over the place. The one thing I couldn't get used to seeing was all the dead sheep hanging from poles on the road side. I even saw live sheep standing under dead sheep, how horrible is that and cows heads with the fur still on them. Lovely Holiday but "Oh Boy" am I glad to be home...